Sphygmomanometers

Just thought I'd throw a medical word out there for kicks...not as fun to say as epistaxis (nose bleed) but still, why not say blood pressure machine if you are referring to a blood pressure machine.  But I digress...

Ryder is stable today.  That doesn't sound exciting I know, but it is a very good thing.  Last night was not as rough as the night before, but I fell asleep and woke up to the lights on - never good.  Not as bad as when you wake up and realize you missed some text messages, the last of which ends "Aren't you getting my texts?" but still...my reflex is to look first at the monitor and not Ryder...blood pressure 40s/20s.  That is looowww.  He got 2 boluses of albumin and they popped back up; then an hour later same thing.  But, after that he sailed through the rest of his night without any big issues.  He needed a little more oxygen this am but this was transient and now he is barely on any; just still needing the actual breathing work done by the ventilator.  His blood cultures are still negative so it appears that the continued fevers are likely all viral so hopefully all things will continue to improve with time.  He even woke up a little today, though still pretty sedated.  But those pesky blood pressures...he has a normal one now but is on dopamine and a small amount of epinephrine (both keep blood pressure higher).  I think a lot of it is because of his sedation but still, the tower of green lights on his IV pump pole is always scary. 

What I keep looking at, though, is this blue balloon...

the child life department brought it in tied to a rattle for Ryder last Thursday when they heard he was transferring to the floor.  It's mostly deflated now, tied to the back of his crib.  I am thankful it doesn't say anything like good luck or congratulations...but there it is, still afloat, twirling around above the NIRS monitor.  It was tied to the front of his crib until they moved it to intubate him again -I remember it was the first thing I saw walking into his room Tuesday afternoon.  I so wanted to pop it and thow it away...stupid reminder that this wasn't how it was supposed to go this time.  Stupid out-of-place balloon, floating around all day in complete denial that it no longer had anything to celebrate.  But I didn't.  That balloon is Ryder's, and every time he takes another breath there is reason to celebrate.  That balloon isn't perfect, but I'm sure he doesn't care...nothing in this world is perfect.  Although our little warrior IS perfectly amazing.  He will come home, I know it.  Home for Christmas.  So..sphygmomanometer, keep those good blood pressures a comin!